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Hanszen-Laporte employee Thomas Retzlaff

Hanszen-Laporte’s employee of the Year – Thomas Retzlaff

 


NEWS & INFORMATION

—  FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE  —

Houston, Texas, September 23, 2016:

The Hanszen-Laporte Law Firm of Houston, Texas, has named long-time Rain Maker (and American Hero & Honorary Admin of the BV Files) Thomas Retzlaff as their Number One Top Employee Of The Year for Fiscal Year 2015-2016.  Retzlaff, a resident of San Antonio, Texas, (with a home in Scottsdale, Arizona), has been with the Hanszen-Laporte team for the past eight years and is an Avvo recognized Top Player in his field.  In fact Retzlaff is a Texas State Certified Vexatious Litigant – one of only a handful of individuals to have earned that distinction ever since the Texas Office of Court Administration created the certification program in 1997.

Hanszen Laporte banner


Core Values

1. Doing whatever it takes to get a job well done.
2. Exceeding client expectations through diligence and by managing our promises.
3. Everyone works together for the good of the clients and the firm — there is no “I” in team.
4. Competence is King — to learn and to improve ourselves as individuals, professionals and lawyers.
5. Respect and professionalism in all relationships.


 

Retzlaff is admitted to the practice of law in the following jurisdictions:

  • All Courts of the State of Texas and the Texas Supreme Court
  • US. Federal Court for the Northern District of Texas
  • US. Federal Court for the Southern District of Texas
  • US. Federal Court for the Eastern District of Texas
  • US. Federal Court for the Western District of Texas
  • US. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit (Louisiana, Mississippi, Texas)
  • US. Federal Court for the Northern District of California
  • US. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit (Alaska, Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, Oregon, and Washington)
  • Twitter Court, San Jose Division
  • All Courts of the State of California and the California Supreme Court.
  • All Courts of the State of Arizona

 

Affiliations

Member, San Antonio Bar Association, Vexatious Litigant Group

Member, Texas District & County Attorneys Association

Member, National Criminal Defense Lawyers Association

Electronic Frontier Foundation, Libel Bloggers’ Rights Group

Aryan Brotherhood of Texas (Vidor, TX Chapter)

 

But, really, it does not matter what state it is or where the courtroom is located – Retzlaff will beat the utter shit out of his opponents – 100% VERIFIED!

Vexatious

And if you do not believe us, just ask James McGibney (who we don’t like) and his lawyers Jay Leiderman, Evan Stone, Paul Gianni, and John Morgan.


 

In addition to countless wins in trial courts throughout the length and breadth of this great country, Thomas Retzlaff (who we like) has successfully argued and won cases in the following appellate courts:

  1. Texas Supreme Court
  2. Texas Court of Criminal Appeals
  3. Austin Court of Appeals (3rd Court of Appeals)
  4. El Paso Court of Appeals (8th Court of Appeals)
  5. Fort Worth Court of Appeals (6th Court of Appeals)
  6. San Antonio Court of Appeals (4th Court of Appeals)

He additionally argued a precedent setting case before the California Sixth District Court of Appeal which resulted in a unanimous decision in a case that has nationwide applications involving internet law, personal jurisdiction, defamation, and the rights of libel bloggers everywhere to be able to make death threats from the comfort of their basements without fear of being sued in some small town way far away!

 

CHECK OUT THESE COURT DECISIONS RIGHT HERE BELOW!


http://law.justia.com/cases/california/court-of-appeal/2016/h041521.html

 

http://law.justia.com/cases/federal/district-courts/california/candce/5:2014cv01059/275202/172/


death threats


FUN FACT:  According to published state records, Retzlaff has personally taken to trial and litigated over 150 civil and criminal cases.  He has argued before the appellate courts probably 20 times and has won two-thirds of his cases.  He rarely loses.  And when he does, he ALWAYS makes certain that his opponent wishes he’d never gotten into a fight to begin with!  Don’t believe this?  Just ask James (Jimmy the Piss Boy) McGibney – 100% VERIFIED just how well it worked out for him trying to take on Retzlaff.

bv-dead-2bv-dead


 

Blah, blah, blah.  McGibney cries while we all laugh.  The bottom line is that James McGibney (who we don’t like) is a revenge pornographer engaged in the dirty business of sexual blackmail who filed a series of SLAPP suits and who got his ass handed to him.

But Retzlaff does not deserve full credit here.  (in fact he hardly deserves any credit at all, if you ask us)  — The man who really did all of the heavy lifting here, who stuck his neck out and who has waged a tireless, very expensive (but very personally satisfying) battle is none other than American Hero & Honorary Admin of the BV Files Houston attorney Jeffrey (“Death Threat”) Dorrell – also of the Hanszen-LaPorte Law Firm!!

Jeffrey Dorrell

Jeffrey Dorrell

 


 

Hey BV Files – So what exactly does Retzlaff do for this very large, very prestigious Houston law firm? you ask??  Well just relax a moment and we will tell ya!

 

Jeff Dorrell puppets

 

According to noted legal scholar and all around law-type expert, Beaumont, Texas, attorney John S. Morgan, Retzlaff is the HNIC for the Office of Death Threats & Cyber-Stalking at Hanszen-LaPorte where he leads a very diverse group of other rich, middle aged white guys who all vote Republican.

 

Pleading by Morgan in his lawsuit against his ex-wife's attorney, Johnson-Todd

Pleading by Morgan in his lawsuit against his ex-wife’s attorney, Johnson-Todd

 

 

 

 

 

 

According to court records in several federal and state lawsuits:

E.M. v. Philip Klein, case # 2014-CI-17145, Bexar County, TX

E.M. v. Philip Klein, case # 2014-CI-17145, Bexar County, TX

 

AND…

 

 

Motion to Strike Retzlaff's pleadings in the EM v Klein case

Motion to Strike Retzlaff’s pleadings in the EM v Klein case

 

 

AND….

 

mar-2016-deposition-of-klein-in-federal-court

March 29, 2016, deposition of Philip Klein in US District Court, case # 1:14-CV-00509

 

AND…

 

2nd Amended Complaint, US District Court - Philip Klein v. Judge Layne Walker

2nd Amended Complaint, US District Court – Philip Klein v. Judge Layne Walker

 

AND…

Klein v Walker lawsuit

Klein v Walker lawsuit

 

BUT WAIT – THERE’S MORE!!!

 

Affidavit of Philip Klein - John Morgan v. Sheryl Johnson-Todd, Jefferson Cty (TX) court

Affidavit of Philip Klein – John Morgan v. Sheryl Johnson-Todd, Jefferson Cty (TX) court

 

 

 


  • While Phil Klein cries, we laugh and hope he dies
  • Posted on Klein's website

    Posted on Klein’s website


 

 

Members of the Dorrell – Retzlaff Death Threats Team include (but are not limited to) the following:

 

 

Houston attorneys Anthony LaPorte - Jeff Dorrell - Kent Hanszen

Houston attorneys Anthony LaPorte – Jeff Dorrell – Kent Hanszen

 

 

 

Mark Sparks

Houston attorney Mark Sparks

.

 

252nd District Court Judge Layne Walker (ret.)

252nd District Court Judge Layne Walker (ret.)

 

.

 

Beaumont attorney Joe Fisher, Jr

Beaumont attorney Joe Fisher, Jr

 

.

 

US District Court Judge Zack Hawthorn

US District Court Judge Zack Hawthorn

 

.

 

Jefferson County Sheriff Mitch Woods

Jefferson County Sheriff Mitch Woods

 

.

 

Jefferson County District Attorney Bob Wortham

Jefferson County District Attorney Bob Wortham

 

.

 

Special Prosecutor Shane Phelps

Special Prosecutor Shane Phelps

 

.

Beaumont Court of Appeals Chief Justice Steve McKeithen

Beaumont Court of Appeals Chief Justice Steve McKeithen

 

 

 

Clearly John Morgan is a crazy drug addict.  Like Jay Leiderman before him (another documented drug addict), when presented with an option, Morgan will almost always come into court and lay out his conspiracy theories based not on anything resembling actual admissible evidence, but just based on stuff he says some guy said on the Internet. This is total BULLSHIT, to use a legal term.

— Tom Retzlaff

 

 

conspiracy is everywhere

.


Special UpdateTHIS JUST IN……

 

For those of you really interested in learning all about the Dorrell, Retzlaff, Walker conspiracy group you can check this out.  This was filed today, September 23, in the afternoon with the Beaumont Court of Appeals by John Morgan.  In this document Morgan spells out in horribly horrific detail all the gruesome facts about this Texas-sized conspiracy, who all the major players are, and what their roles are in this scheme.

It is 54 pages of harrowing, Vicodin-fueled nonsense that will make you laugh, make you cry, and make you wish could stick a pin in your eye so you don’t have to look at it anymore.  But you have to – you have no choice!  CHECK IT OUT!!

 

In this pleading Morgan demands that the entire Beaumont Court of Appeals must be recused and removed from the case because every single Justice in that Court is biased and prejudiced against John Morgan.  This is not surprising because one of the main members of the Retzlaff-Dorrell Death Threats Group is Chief Justice McKeithen, a man who has been out to get Klein and Morgan for the past four or so years any way he possibly could.

hartman-mtn-to-recuse

 

CHECK IT ALL OUT RIGHT HERE====> hartman-mtn-to-recuse

Seriously, you have to download this document and read it.


 

Because of Retzlaff’s tireless service on behalf of the Hanszen-LaPorte Law Office in helping them earn MILLIONS OF DOLLARS in revenue, the managing partners there have awarded American Hero & Honorary Admin of the BV Files Thomas Retzlaff….

employee-of-the-year

 

WOW!

 

 

BV great success

 

.

 


 

latest news

AND NOW FOR SOME UPDATES….

 

where is TR

Take a guess where Some Random Person We’ve Never Heard Of Before is at and WIN A 2015 PORSCHE 718 BOXSTER S

 

tr-at-phx-trump-rally

.

So how close did our American Hero & Honorary Admin get to America’s next President?

tr-at-phx-trump-2

ABOUT TWENTY FEET AWAY.

 

But how is this possible?  Aren’t there all sorts of warrants and super secret FBIs after TR?

We guess not since he was able to make it through the Secret Service security and ID checkpoint without any difficulties.  CHECK IT OUT!

tr-in-phx-with-trump-1 tr-in-phx-with-trump-2

 

So were you able to guess where TR is?  If you did, here is a photo of the car that will be sent to you by fax machine.  It comes straight from TR’s own garage!

 

2015 Porsche 718 Boxter S

trs-2015-porsche-boxter-s

Is there room in the trunk for a set of golf clubs? Wait a minute… where is the trunk anyways??

 

 

img_20160924_165043

Two German Shepherds riding in a German automobile - what could be more American than that??

Two German Shepherds riding in a German automobile – what could be more American than that??

 

 

How fast does Retzlaff's car go? This many!

How fast does Retzlaff’s car go? This many!

 


FUN FACT:  Base model starts at $68,400 – (note, this isn’t the base model).  It goes Zero – 60 in 4.0 seconds (with the optional Sport Chrono Package) and has a Top Speed of 177 mph; thus, allowing our American Hero & Honorary Admin of the BV Files to easily outrun any FBIs, ATFs, or crazy private investigators wearing stupid red shirts!!


 

 

Where to go to find this car…

Where TR lives in Phoenix

Where TR lives in Phoenix

 

Whose got your GoDaddy's McGibney???

Whose got your GoDaddy’s McGibney???

 

 

Hey Piss Boy!!  Do you drive a Porsche?

#GFY McGibney

 

 


FUN FACT:  Defective detective Philip Klein (a known criminal & drug addict) claims that neither the FBI nor the ATF can seem to find Retzlaff in order to go arrest him for various, unspecified crimes against humanity.  But it seems that Retzlaff’s Phoenix area home really is not that hard to find after all.  Am I right?


 

 


WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE TEXAS APPEAL…..

 

With an endorsement from a pedophile / revenge pornographer, Evan Stone can't lose, can he?

With an endorsement from a pedophile / revenge pornographer, Evan Stone can’t lose, can he?

 

 

It seems that McGibney’s attorney, Evan Stone of Denton, Texas, is too busy to work on the appeal and he needs more time.

app-mtn-for-extension-to-file-brief_page_2

.

EVAN STONE LOVES DOGS… BUT ONLY IN A SEXUAL WAY (not that there’s anything wrong with it)

Yeah, this guy does not look like a total fag, right?

Yeah, this guy does not look like a total fag, right?

 

 

.

 


AND NOW FOR SOME PHILIP KLEIN NEWS….

 

 

 

order-setting-hearing-date

What could this possibly be about?  And what does this mean??

 

 

Who knows.  But we can tell you this, our teeming MILLIONS of readers, listeners, and supporters:  Without a shadow of a doubt some very, very serious shit is about to go down in San Antonio, Texas, in just three short weeks.  Dorrell and Retzlaff have something very special planned for Philip Klein and John Morgan.

 

 

 

For years Philip Klein and his missing child fund raising scams have sought the spotlight.  But Klein needs to remember something very, very important: For a man in his position, the spotlight can turn into an interrogation lamp pretty damn fast!

interogation-flickr-650

Have a nice weekend, and thanks for stopping by!  Be sure to watch for frequent updates, too!